Monday, September 26, 2011

But you do not look sick

I often get asked "how I am feeling" or "are you better now?"  This question throws me off.  I am not sure how I am to answer this.  I know that most of the time they (the people asking) want to hear that I am doing great and that I have never been better.  I never feel completely right saying to them " I am  doing good" because I know that my "new" good is not the same as their good.  I also know that it is hard for someone that does not have a chronic illness to understand what it is like to have one.  

I have a good friend that has MS and she sent me the this link that I think makes people kinda understand what it is like.  I am not as bad off as this woman that has Lupus (they are pretty sure that I have RA), but I know what she feels like.  Today I find that I have very few "spoons" to live with, and I have to spend them wisely.

How do I get by with this chronic illness you may ask, well there are a bunch of things that help me and that bunch of things are all wonderful people.  I have a Husband that some days cooks, cleans, takes the kids to school, does laundry all the while making me still feel like I am useful and loved.  I have two great kids that help in a million little ways everyday.  I have a great family that understand when I do not travel to see them for years and who works hard to get to see me. People in my life will pick up my kids, come to my house for play dates, and understand if I cancel at the last min. because I do not feel up to it.  In general I surround my self with people who understand how I feel and help me in little and big ways all the time.  I do not think that I could ever repay any of them, but I know that I love them all and could not get by without help.

Thank you all for listening to me and forgiving me for I can not make it out to dinner with you (night times are the hardest), have to cancel at the last min, can get a blog up (....cough/Mom  cough/Dad), have to miss an important time in your life, and all the other things that I have to miss.

1 comment:

EE said...

:-) You should be an author Zoë!!! so well said. I havent been looking at blogs for ages so I didnt see this before now. best mEE